I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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