maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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