I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
