Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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