bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
