sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
