I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
