So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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