Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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