In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
