There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
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