this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
