but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
