shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
