I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
