talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
