I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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