I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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