Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize