Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
