I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
