u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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