So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
