I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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