I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
