My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
