I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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