Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
