I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
