Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
