he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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