Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
