That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Randomize
