There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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