Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
