i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
