he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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