Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
