If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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