I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Randomize
