I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
