Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize