EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Randomize
