I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
