Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
