Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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