I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
