I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Text me some of your sweat
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
