Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
