Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
