VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Randomize
