Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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