worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
