I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
