i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
My liver just had a heart attack.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
