just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
