i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Randomize
