I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
what day is it and did you see me today?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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