i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize