R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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