Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
