I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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