today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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