Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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