she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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