so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
