just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
