i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
