so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
