I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
