if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
