This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
