I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
