it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
