6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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