Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
